When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
