I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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