Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I cockslap morals
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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