the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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