I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
