well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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