my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize