To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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