What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You took a bar mat shot.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
