3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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