brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
