I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
