Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
