someone get that fucking seahorse.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
