I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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