Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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