Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When did angry sex become our thing?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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