Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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