remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
