this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Pants are for mortals
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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