We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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