Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
