This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
