the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
