Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
