so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
