So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
