Christians are straight up FREAKS
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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