I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
