doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I wear drunk well.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
