You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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