so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
