My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
