Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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