Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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