its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
