Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
nutella sex= disaster
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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