...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My life is pants optional.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
