bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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