Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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