Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
