explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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