wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
