She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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