I must be too annoying 4 u.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
