He is such a slut. More and more my type.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
