You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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