Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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