giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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