So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
