i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
vagina is talking i cant
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
